Glory – a song by my favourite band, Bastille – is for me a song about friendships, road trips, having fun, getting a bit drunk and maybe forgetting everything else for a little while. In the past few weeks, I fell in love with this song more and more.
I spent most of 2017 not in work or school but either travelling, relaxing at home or being with friends. I made hundreds of new memories and experiences, I learned new things and I enjoyed most of it so much.
The last two or so months were even better than what came before. I again spent more time with the friends in my hometown, I talked more to them and we met and had fun, I went travelling to see some of my best friends in the world again, I saw new places and people and found amazing books and movies and music to occupy my time with.
Now, this probably best summer of my life has ended. This Tuesday, I went back to school and I’m probably going to be rather busy from now on. I don’t quite know what to expect and how it’s going to be and that’s both exciting and scary. So naturally, I’m getting quite emotional and melancholy now, thinking back and thinking ahead. September has always been a time for feelings like that, but for the first time in a few years, I truly feel more excited and… safe? … than scared.
I’m worried I won’t talk as much to my friends, all of them, but I also know communication is a two-way street so it’s not just my responsibility and it will probably be fine anyway. I’m worried school will be very stressful and tough but I also know I can be a rather good student and I just have to wait and see. I’m worried I won’t be able to do all the amazing ideas I have for next year but I know that even if I’m not able to do it all, something will always work out.
Back to the song Glory. If you watched the video – and if you haven’t, I encourage you to do it now – you can see two people on a road trip, recounting their stories, having fun, making everything a bit more dramatic and entertaining than it actually was and everything also has this beautiful aesthetic and colouring. This music video really resembles my current emotions in a way, I can’t tell you exactly why, but it’s the truth.
Sure, not everything I experienced since January was fun. I had problems with bureaucracy and I felt really insecure in certain moments and was worried I would waste this year. But I also did a lot and spent so much time doing things I love and enjoy and even if there were moments in between that weren’t as great (and there are always were some) I don’t think about those too much because they aren’t what’s most important.
What’s most important is that I had great times. And yes, thinking back to certain moments I do tend to glorify and dramatise them a tiny bit, but who doesn’t? I’m human, after all (I’m sure you wouldn’t have guessed) and we have always been unreliable narrators – just like Dan and the girl in the Glory video, who can’t decide on the right way to tell their stories.
So I suppose I’m going to be fine. I’m going to remember this summer and this year because I took many opportunities and because I had such great people around me. I’m sad it’s over but I’m glad everything happened the way it did. Now I’m just trying to be less fearful of what’s to come.