books of the month: november 2017

Can you believe there’s only one more month left in this year? On one hand I can’t wait to leave the shitshow of 2017 behind when it comes to news and the whole wide world, but for me personally 2017 has been so good so I can’t quite get my head around this year being nearly over. I’m super excited for Christmas and my holidays though!

November has been really awesome when it comes to books. All of my reads were really good and interesting, even though I haven’t rated any of them five stars (all of them were really close though, I feel a bit bad about it). I’m also past my record of books read in one year! (From last year, 58 books!)

The best

The Princess Saves Herself in this One (Women are Some Kind of Magic, #1)The Princess Saves Herself in this One by Amanda Lovelace
My rating:
4 of 5 stars

I enjoyed reading this so much! The poems are all really good, I nearly gave it five stars but I realised I feel about it the same way as about Rupi Kaur’s The Sun and Her Flowers which I just read as well – so I really like it, but it’s not quite as novel or exciting for me personally to get five stars.

But The Princess Saves Herself in this One is beautiful from the badass title, over the really clean and nice layout to the adorable last few pages. It’s about emotional abuse, about terrible and amazing relationships, it’s about feminism and being strong, it’s about suicide and loss and growing, it’s about being your own hero and becoming happier.
(It also has a list of trigger warnings in the beginning, yay!)

The first half was really sad and hard to read but every poem was so beautiful and well-written, I certainly didn’t want to stop reading. I really enjoy this style of poetry and even when they are super short, they always touch me deeply.
The second half is more empowering and while still sad or hard in sometimes they made me kind of happy and pumped and badass myself (or something).
Such a good book.

The Sun and Her FlowersThe Sun and Her Flowers by
Rupi KaurMy rating: 4 of 5 stars

I loved reading this! Milk & Honey got five stars from me and this book is nearly as good as Rupi Kaur’s debut.
Maybe I didn’t find it quite as good because the novelty of her writing and style wore off a bit? But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love The Sun and Her Flowers.

The poems are about abuse, femininity, family, origins, friends, growing, dealing with the past, falling in and out of love and much more. They are short (not all) and beautiful, poignant and interesting. They not only deal with Rupi Kaur’s life but also her family, especially the women.

The illustrations were as beautiful as those in Milk & Honey, if not even better. I’ve always loved the combination of text and art in books and it’s a great combination and also beautiful to look at.

The Handmaid's TaleThe Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Good afternoon, I think I’ve been scarred for life.
I’ve wanted to read this book for a while, especially since I heard more about it because of the TV show (which I totally need to watch at some point – I’ll either start next week or in 10 years) and now I did it and I’m not quite sure what to think about it??

The Handmaid’s Tale is definitely a great book about a dystopian future that is pretty damn horrifying. Women don’t really have any rights (apart from breeding) and no one is really allowed to have fun or enjoy themselves and of course everyone is watched by the Eyes.
Offred – the protagonist – is in the first generation of this new “era” and because of that, she remembers how life was before and she and everyone else is brainwashed into becoming these joyless, thoughtless members of some sort of cult, basically. Her life is so bleak and only there to give birth, nothing else.

So many parts of this book where incredibly terrible and repulsive (I’ll just say “Moira’s feet”, “the ceremony” and “salvaging”) and sometimes these events are described so clinically, which made everything even worse.

Offred isn’t exactly your typical hero and she doesn’t really *do* anything for most of the book which is also why it took me forever to truly get into it. I was interested from the beginning but the slow plot doesn’t exactly get me hooked. I wanted to know what happens to her and everyone else though and I didn’t really get any answers to that which annoys me a bit BUT I also see why that makes it even more fascinating and invites thinking about this story in more detail.

I’m wondering if all of the parallels to 1984 (which I haven’t read yet but will try to do soon) were intentional. I think both books make you think about some of the same things (the power of thoughts and words and brainwashing and an all-controlling and all-seeing state) but they also look at separate aspects of a possible dystopian future. In The Handmaid’s Tale it’s more about reproductive rights and how people might feel when their whole life changes so completely and how they try to live in these roles that they have become assigned to.

This is definitely a great story and it can be really important to think about these topics, I just wish the writing was a bit more to my taste.

The rest

Graffiti (and Other Poems)Graffiti by Savannah Brown

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was so lovely to read! I really Savannah’s videos of reciting her poetry and I’ve wanted to get my hands on more of her poems for a while!

Graffiti (and other poems) is about growing up and learning and experiencing so many new things and being overwhelmed, being in love, being okay. It’s beautifully illustrated (seriously, I couldn’t help but “aww” a few times when turning the page) and the cover is incredibly pretty, I’m quite in love with it.

The poems are short(-ish) and written in what seems to become my favourite type of poetry. I enjoyed reading them a lot, they are interesting and calming and so nicely written.
I hope Savannah will continue writing more because I think she’s really good at it.

I Am Malala: The Story of the Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the TalibanI Am Malala: The Story of the Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban by Malala Yousafzai

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I’ve known a bit about Malala for years but I never really knew her story and what she went through and why. This book was so insightful not only about those two points but I also learned so much about cultures I didn’t really know anything about.

Malala describes her life as a Muslim, a Pakistani and a Pashtu in such great detail, but this book doesn’t just contain her story, it also includes the story of Pakistan and the Swat valley Malala grew up in. This is a part of the world you only hear bad things about on the news and being a year younger than Malala, I basically just know about the Taliban but not how it was before or what changed for the people in Pakistan when they arrived.
She recounts her life from being born to going to school to being shot, but she adds the stories of her country, her parents, her school and the groups that made her life so difficult and that was so interesting to me and I feel like I learned so much.

I have a huge respect for everything Malala did and survived, especially now that I know how difficult it is for girls in Pakistan and I realise how disheartening that must be.

Even though Malala did exceptional things and won countless prizes, she is still a normal young girl and she lived through many of the same experiences other children and teenagers have. I really liked reading about those normal moments too, Malala isn’t just an activist, she’s always saying that she’s just as normal as everyone else. She’s honestly so humble, I’m so inspired by her.

Even though the book got really dragging sometimes and I got confused with all the names and complex history I loved reading about her life and everything beyond.
I admire people who stand up for their rights so much and I’m so happy I could learn from her.

View all my reviews


By the way, if you have any good poetry books similar to those above to recommend, please do! I’m really into poetry right now and I’m trying to find more of my favourite style.

See you soon ❤

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youtube channels about movies & more

I have to confess I don’t even watch many movies. Mostly because I just don’t feel like watching one thing for two or three hours (and for some reason I rarely want to watch a movie that’s shorter than that).

Instead, I watch a lot of YouTube (which is totally the biggest reason why I don’t have so much time to watch movies) and a while ago I came across the Nerdwriter. It took me a while to finally get around to watch more of his videos and then I just binged half of his channel in like a week and found a bunch of other channels that do video essays on mostly movies but also other pop culture related things.

And as those channels really grew on me I wanted to talk a bit about them.

Nerdwriter

The Nerdwriter (Evan Puschak) makes some of the best-edited videos I’ve ever seen. They just look so good and every video is so well written and executed, I’m excited whenever he uploads.

He doesn’t just make videos about movies, some are about TV and music and art and a ton of other interesting topics. I first found him through the video below, which is still my favourite of his. Other honourable mentions include Inside Out: Emotional Theory Comes to Life, Arrival: A Response to Bad Movies (I still haven’t seen Arrival, oops) and Lord Of The Rings: How Music Elevates Story but the whole channel is worth watching, I promise you.

Movies with Mikey (FilmJoy)

Those videos might be long, but they are so worth watching. I love Mikey Neumann’s style and the details they call attention to are so interesting and make me see the movies (and TV shows sometimes) in a different light. They are also super funny and I love the use of music and freaky editing so much.

There are several video formats on FilmJoy, Movies with Mikey is only one of them but so far I’ve only watched those kinds of videos. It of course always depends on if I’ve seen the movie or want to know about it if I haven’t (which is usually the case) but I think I watch most of the MWM videos.

My favourites apart from the one below (which is so, so brilliant) are the videos about The Force Awakens, Hot Fuzz and The Prisoner of Azkaban.

Just Write

I haven’t watched so many of Just Write‘s videos yet, but those that I’ve seen are really good. These videos focus more on the writing (you could probably guess from the name) than other parts of movies and are usually about why the writing makes the particular film so good or so bad.

Even though the creator said they don’t like those videos much anymore, I find the Why The Hobbit Sucks series absolutely hilarious. And so true. My other favourites are about Game of Thrones and Wonder Woman. You might also want to take a look at the beautiful thumbnails, I’ve rarely seen a channel with such nice ones.

Lessons from the Screenplay

Like Just Write, this channel focuses on the writing, the screenplay. Each video is so well-made and beautiful, I love watching them, no matter if I’m interested in the particular movie or TV show or not. The creator also has a super calm and relaxing voice, so that helps as well.

There aren’t so many videos on the channel yet (well, probably as many as Just Write has, but nevermind), but you should totally check out Telling A Story From The Inside Out and Rogue One vs. The Force Awakens – The Fault in our Star Wars.

Karsten Runquist

This is probably the smallest channel I’m mentioning here but it’s another amazing one. Karsten‘s videos are about a bunch of movies and TV shows I’ve seen and they are kind of reviews but also showing why a certain movie did a certain thing really well. They are well made and interesting and I hope they continue working on them.

My favourite is definitely the one below but other super great ones include Stranger Things: How To Introduce A Character and Mr. Robot: The Art of Framing.

Pop Culture Detective

This one is my current favourite of all the video essay channels. The videos are so feminist and are calling out Hollywood in so many ways and I love, love, love them. Two weeks or so ago I shared some of these videos everywhere and I think everyone should watch them and agree with me that they are brilliant.

Of course the editing and choice of movies/TV shows is nice as well, but my favourite thing is definitely how thoroughly Jonathan McIntosh destroys certain aspects of the film industry. AND every video is super interesting and I’m definitely learning more from them.

You should watch The Adorkable Misogyny of The Big Bang Theory, The Fantastic Masculinity of Newt Scamander and Predatory Romance in Harrison Ford Movies.


If you have any similar channels you think I might enjoy please hit me up. I’m always looking for ways to make my YouTube subscription list even longer!

(I literally just found Like Stories of Old while looking for the videos I linked so this is going to be the next channel I get obsessed with, probably)

See you soon ❤

re: unsorted thoughts on family and belonging

I could start this with “I had another existential crisis recently” but that’s not quite the truth. I had a couple realisations, that’s for sure, but they weren’t really negative – they were, in fact, quite the opposite (I think??).

In March I wrote this really long rant about my family and other people’s families and how I felt like I didn’t really belong anywhere and didn’t fit in. I complained that I wish my family was different and more like me because I felt like I didn’t have anything to talk about with them but whenever I was around people like my “ideal” family I felt not good enough for them either.

Seven months passed since then and in these months I experienced a lot and I realised a couple things that have made my life better.

Last year in October my parents and I got a cat, a beautiful baby called Merlin. He’s the light of my life and sometime this year I finally understood how good getting him was not just for me personally, but also for the relationship between my parents and me. As I mentioned above and in the old blog post, I felt for a long time like I didn’t have anything in common with my parents and that we didn’t really talk about anything interesting or spent some quality time. But when we got my kitten, we spent so much time playing with him and taking care of him and there hasn’t been a single day since October on which we didn’t ask each other where the cat was or told a funny story about him at dinner.
Also, being away for a couple months this year also helped put things into perspective a little. I like travelling and seeing other places a lot but I love coming home to my kitty and my own place.

I do think that my parents still aren’t super interested in travelling or movies or whatever I care about, but on some topics, they do care and we can talk about them. My dad has started writing down the names of cat (or other animals) videos he found on YouTube and I will watch them later and probably also show them to my mum. We had a great time watching a few Star Wars movies in October. We have a common ground when complaining about my grandparents. And now that I’m back in school they finally know what questions to ask me and will get a proper answer from me, yay!

These are all small things but they heavily contribute to us having a better relationship. I know I’m generally pretty lucky when it comes to my parents but for so long I felt like something was missing, and now that’s not quite the case anymore.

This also goes for the rest of my family. They are still not as good at talking to me and acknowledging what I actually do and care about as my parents are, but they finally stopped asking about my future and just ask me about school. And recently at a birthday party, I found two new topics to talk about: school in general and travelling. Most of my cousins’ six kids are now in school and I had a really interesting conversation with one of my cousins about school and what could or should be improved or not. We don’t agree on everything but it was interesting nevertheless and I was surprised that this is now a topic we share. It makes sense though, she cares a lot about her children and their education and seems relatively involved in their primary school, so why not talk about it.

We also talked about which school subjects I’m interested in and I compared a few travel experiences with my aunt and I definitely felt more acknowledged than before and not as much like the odd one out. I still am in many ways but I don’t think it’s much of an issue for me anymore.

I also had a couple positive experiences the other way round, as in I didn’t feel “not good enough” in situations where I did before. There were a few instances with friends and their friends or families this summer where I felt way more comfortable talking and engaging in the conversations and didn’t feel like I wasn’t a proper part of this “group” and I know that I felt like that before. That makes me really happy and I’m glad I gained a lot more confidence and insight into myself this year. 2017 is totally a year of growth for me and since going back to school in September this is happening even more.

I’m learning so much every day, not just facts and how to calculate a billion economics things, but also about myself. I found out how much I actually love learning, how I like to engage in the lessons and talk to people about school stuff and help those who aren’t quite as good as I am. I like learning if it’s something that interests me and I learned that I can actually motivate myself sometimes. It doesn’t work every single day, but it works so much better than during my apprenticeship. I’m not afraid of talking to people in my class and I’m getting along with many of them.

I’ve had so many great experiences this year and I’m so glad I found out so much about myself.

I hope you’re all having a good time, see you soon ❤

books of the month: october 2017

I have been a tiny bit inactive this month when it comes to blogging. I had a few things to talk about (I went to Lorde‘s concert in Munich and it was so damn amazing!) but school is keeping me rather busy and I didn’t really feel like writing anything.

BUT I’ve had loads of time on the train to read. I barely read outside of public transport right now but as I sit on a train for over an hour five days a week I do get something done!

I read six books this month which means I’m already done with my Goodreads Reading Challenge! I already read 53 books in 2017, I’m so happy! Some of the books this month were SO good and I even read one in German, can you believe? I basically never read German books, especially not by German authors but this author is one of my favourites and he hadn’t written a book in years. Of course, my review is in German as well and I’m just gonna put it in this blog post as usual.

The best

QualityLandQualityLand by Marc-Uwe Kling
My rating:
5 of 5 stars

Uhm, wie schreibt man Reviews auf Deutsch? Das ist das erste Deutsche Buch, das auch noch von einem Deutschen Autor ist, das ich in einer ganzen Weile lese. Und ich merke ich kann keine Deutschen Sätze mehr formulieren. Cool.

In meinem Freundeskreis sind die Känguru Chroniken mehr als nur bekannt. Sie sind eher eine Bibel. Jeder kennt und zitiert sie und da liegt es nahe, dass ich mich wirklich sehr auf etwas Neues von Marc-Uwe Kling gefreut habe. Die Idee klang interessant und ich wusste, dass es witzig werden würde.

Erstmal möchte ich anmerken wie schön dieses Buch aussieht! Ich liebe Buchcover und schwarz + gold und dann auch noch innen abwechselnd schwarze Seiten – ich bin begeistert. Allein dafür würde das Buch schon fünf Sterne bekommen.

Aber ehrlich, QualityLand ist so gut und so böse! Es ist so anders als die Känguru Bücher und das ist natürlich verständlich und auch etwas, das ich erwartet habe. Es ist weniger witzig, was wohl auch stark am Thema liegt und da wir schließlich kein kommunistisches Känguru mehr haben, aber dennoch unglaublich erheiternd.
Und so kritisch gegenüber der Digitalisierung (das ist das Offensichtlichste), aber auch gegenüber der Politik, dem Kapitalismus, der Gesellschaft, Ausländerfeindlichkeiten und Rassismus, Politiker, mit den wir in letzter Zeit leider handeln müssen, und so viel mehr! Und dabei lernt man sogar noch wirklich was (besonders, wenn der Alte etwas erzählt!).
Wirklich, manche Dialoge oder Erklärungen waren so genial, ich wollte gleich jedem davon erzählen. Es bringt mich zum Nachdenken und zum Lachen. Das ist für mich die beste Kombination.

Für mich schafft es dieses Buch, so viele Dinge zu vereinen, die mir wichtig sind oder die ich super finde: Humor, Anspielungen auf das Känguru, Politik und Kritik an der Menschheit, interessante Wege ein Buch aufzubauen (da es “Werbeunterbrechnungen” zwischen den Kapiteln gibt, was so unglaublich gut zum Thema passt) und mehr.

In anderen Worten: Viel schönes dabei.

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) BodyHunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was really excited for this and not because it’s an amazing story or funny or anything like that but because I knew I could learn a lot and get insights into things I never thought about before.

I loved Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist and since then I knew she had dealt with sexual abuse and obesity and problems resulting from that. Especially the chapters dealing with her abuse (rape but also emotional abuse) are hard to read and if you get triggered easily by these topics it might not be the right thing for you. Eating disorders are also mentioned quite heavily.

They are good though in a way that they raise awareness and make me understand better what her life is like. The same goes for everything she writes about being fat and having society judge her for that. There are some things (like the dimensions of literally every space ever) that I never thought about because I’m in such a different situation and I’m really glad I could learn about these things.
Awareness is important.

This book is not a guide to anything but it offers so much insight and quite a lot of really interesting and really important thoughts. I think this is a great read, especially for those who want to know more about diverse bodies and all the things mentioned above.
Just maybe do it like I did and read something fun in between.

Counting DescentCounting Descent by Clint Smith
My rating:
4 of 5 stars

(This is really close to five stars but I need to finally proper differentiate between four and five so…)

I have heard about Clint Smith before and I’ve been following him on Twitter for a while, where I saw a few of his newest poems. I found them all amazing and beautifully written so I had to get this collection at some point.

And it’s so good.

Clint Smith writes a lot about race, about police shootings and fear, about his family, about sports, about his hometown(s). I like all of his poems but especially those about race are so beautiful and haunting and sad and heart wrenching.

I also really like how they are different types of poems and how the layout is a bit different and unique for some of them.

Just a really good book.

The rest

The Ship of the Dead (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, #3)The Ship of the Dead by Rick Riordan
My rating:
4 of 5 stars

I enjoyed this so much! I love all Rick Riordan books and this series has been particularly interesting to me because I love Norse Mythology a lot. I’m a bit sad it’s over but I’m also glad it’s a trilogy with a really nice ending and just hope I can see more of the characters in other stories (just give me something, please).

Magnus and all his friends finally have to face Loki and really prevent Ragnarök. For that, they have to survive challenges that are truly horrifying. Each person gets tested in a cruel way and even though they all deserve more happiness I’m glad every person on the team got their time to shine and there was quite a lot of backstory on everyone. Of course, there’s still stuff I’d love to find out but whatever.

I really like how important chosen families and friendships are in this series and this was highlighted even more in Ship of the Dead, especially near the end. The romance was still really subtle and adorable and I totally live for that.

This book has humour and sadness and mentions a lot of important topics (gender and sexuality and faith and racism and more) that might help younger readers and I’m happy for those people books like this exist. And for me too, cause I really liked it.

The Knife of Never Letting Go (Chaos Walking, #1)The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness
My rating:
4 of 5 stars

I wanted to read this for so long! Patrick Ness has written a few books I really, really liked and I knew this would be interesting and cool but oh my god, why did no one warn me how sad it is?

I knew nothing about this series, only that there’s going to be a movie and that there’s a dog and that’s about it. This meant that I was quite confused in the beginning because you’re just thrown into the plot and everything is from Todd’s narrative so it doesn’t make sense for him to tell the reader the things we don’t know but he has lived with his entire life. You get to know what’s going on and why bit by bit and before that it’s a lot of guessing and I LOVE guessing because I’m always interested in knowing if I was right or not (I was, partially, by the way).

The Chaos Walking series is sci-fi, more sci-fi than I thought at first, and it’s quite original. I never read a story similar to this, especially not told from the perspective of a boy who can hear voices. I really enjoyed the plot – or at least most of it – and I really liked the direction it took when Todd met Viola even though sadness ensured and I died like twenty times.

Can we talk about how amazing Manchee is? I love Manchee so much. Probably my favourite character in the book. Such a good boy.

This is Patrick Ness, so I knew it would be heart-wrenching, but I hoped it wouldn’t make me cry quite as much as it did in the end. I knew certain things had to happen or would happen but that doesn’t mean I was looking forward to them.

Patrick Ness’ writing is so captivating and I love how he used loads of short and cut-off sentences during really intense moments and how the Noise was shown in different fonts and all that. Really cool.
Weird ways of writing/layout are so my thing.

I’m really scared for the characters now, though. I definitely need to read on soon.

View all my reviews


Are there any amazing books you read this months? Any recommendations? Feel free to tell me about them!

See you soon ❤

books of the month: september 2017

After the first two weeks I thought this would be a very unproductive month (when it comes to reading at least) but then school started and I realised how much I can read while waiting for my train(s) so that’s something!

I’m now at 47 books of my 50 books reading challenge. I guess I should update it but I don’t know to what amount. Hm.

The best

The Hate U GiveThe Hate U Give by Angie Thomas
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

For some reason, I just can’t get around to write a proper review for this. But it’s so good. Probably in my top 10 best books I’ve read this year.

The Hate U Give was apparently highly anticipated and hyped (and as always I didn’t notice a lot of that) and every hype around this is certainly worth it! It’s such an amazing book in every way you can think of and I love it.

This book is about teenagers, about racism, about different neighbourhoods, about black lives matter and injustice.

It has the most amazing characters. Everyone – not just the main people but literally everyone – has a story and characteristics and a goal or something they are going through. Everyone is well written and super interesting and everyone brings something to the story.

The Hate U Give is a sad book – and it gets sad way quicker than I expected – but there’s also humour and fun moments and family life and, ugh, everything is just so complex and well-done, I love it.

The thing I like least is probably the romance but on the other hand, I really like how it’s not a big deal and just one of the many topics in this story.
Everything about the movement and the racism Starr and her people face is SO GOOD and so interesting and it made me so damn emotional. I wanted to get through this book quickly because it’s so captivating but I regretted reading almost all of it on public transport because I couldn’t cry. And I definitely wanted to.

Such a great book, so well-written, I recommend it to everyone, for sure.

The rest

The Crown's Game (The Crown's Game, #1)The Crown’s Game by Evelyn Skye
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I really liked the idea of a book set in 19th century Russia that has a bit of magic and I really liked the cover so of course, I had to buy this book. I knew from the beginning I wouldn’t love it but I definitely still liked it.

Vika and Nikolai are a bit annoying at times and they aren’t characters you can relate to and I didn’t enjoy the whole love triangle thing a lot but I really liked the story itself. For some reason, magical competitions are totally my thing. The ideas they brought into the game were quite creative and I liked seeing what they could do, I just wish the magic itself could be explained a bit more?
Saint Petersburg and the Russian Empire were explained so well, though, I really enjoyed reading about all these places.

I love the usage of a few French and Russian phrases, I’m a bit of a language nerd and that just makes everything better for me. Another thing that I appreciated a lot was the baking! So much cake and pastry and pastry + magic??? Amazing. Need more of that, please.

Closer to the end I got more into the story and some plot points came up that could be really interesting in the sequel! I’m also quite shocked and not really satisfied with the ending so… I guess I’ll have to read on!

The Full Spectrum: A New Generation of Writing About Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, QuestionThe Full Spectrum: A New Generation of Writing About Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Question by David Levithan
My rating:
3 of 5 stars

This was quite interesting! There were LGBTQ people (mostly young people) of all kinds telling their stories.

Some stories were really interesting and very well written, others a bit less so. Many of them were very hard to read (featuring homophobia, transphobia, self harm, suicidal thoughts, abuse,…), that’s why it took me a while to get through this book.

I found some of the stories a bit problematic? I don’t really want to go into details but hmpf.
I really wish there would have been more poetry because the few poems that were featured were really beautiful and interesting.

All in all, this book was quite nice to read but nothing really thrilled me.

What We LoseWhat We Lose by Zinzi Clemmons
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I really want to give this book four stars but it’s just not enough in some way.

This book isn’t written in long chapters but basically just in pages or paragraphs or very, very short chapters. That makes it quite fast paced and interesting and you are jumping around between different points in Thandi’s life and layout illustrates that in a way. I really liked that and I loved that there are a few parts of essays, photographs and graphs in this book! That’s not really usual for this type of novel, I’d say, and I always appreciate visually interesting things and when authors do something a bit different.

The story itself was interesting as well. Most of the book deals in some way with the illness and death of Thandi’s mother but that’s not everything. We get to know her and her best friend and her lovers and what happens to her after her mother dies.
The parts about grieving were so well written and so sad and they didn’t need long descriptions to be heart-wrenching.

I enjoyed reading this book but I also felt a bit disconnected from everything, especially in the second half. The part about Thandi’s relationship with Peter and everything that followed seem different from the rest of the book. I generally didn’t like this part as much, same with the ending.

It’s a good, rather short, story that’s definitely something a bit different and certainly interesting. Also, look at this beautiful cover!

View all my reviews

See you soon ❤

and all their words for glory

and all their words for glory

Glory – a song by my favourite band, Bastille – is for me a song about friendships, road trips, having fun, getting a bit drunk and maybe forgetting everything else for a little while. In the past few weeks, I fell in love with this song more and more.

I spent most of 2017 not in work or school but either travelling, relaxing at home or being with friends. I made hundreds of new memories and experiences, I learned new things and I enjoyed most of it so much.

The last two or so months were even better than what came before. I again spent more time with the friends in my hometown, I talked more to them and we met and had fun, I went travelling to see some of my best friends in the world again, I saw new places and people and found amazing books and movies and music to occupy my time with.

Now, this probably best summer of my life has ended. This Tuesday, I went back to school and I’m probably going to be rather busy from now on. I don’t quite know what to expect and how it’s going to be and that’s both exciting and scary. So naturally, I’m getting quite emotional and melancholy now, thinking back and thinking ahead. September has always been a time for feelings like that, but for the first time in a few years, I truly feel more excited and… safe? … than scared.

I’m worried I won’t talk as much to my friends, all of them, but I also know communication is a two-way street so it’s not just my responsibility and it will probably be fine anyway. I’m worried school will be very stressful and tough but I also know I can be a rather good student and I just have to wait and see. I’m worried I won’t be able to do all the amazing ideas I have for next year but I know that even if I’m not able to do it all, something will always work out.

Back to the song Glory. If you watched the video – and if you haven’t, I encourage you to do it now – you can see two people on a road trip, recounting their stories, having fun, making everything a bit more dramatic and entertaining than it actually was and everything also has this beautiful aesthetic and colouring. This music video really resembles my current emotions in a way, I can’t tell you exactly why, but it’s the truth.

Sure, not everything I experienced since January was fun. I had problems with bureaucracy and I felt really insecure in certain moments and was worried I would waste this year. But I also did a lot and spent so much time doing things I love and enjoy and even if there were moments in between that weren’t as great (and there are always were some) I don’t think about those too much because they aren’t what’s most important.

What’s most important is that I had great times. And yes, thinking back to certain moments I do tend to glorify and dramatise them a tiny bit, but who doesn’t? I’m human, after all (I’m sure you wouldn’t have guessed) and we have always been unreliable narrators – just like Dan and the girl in the Glory video, who can’t decide on the right way to tell their stories.

So I suppose I’m going to be fine. I’m going to remember this summer and this year because I took many opportunities and because I had such great people around me. I’m sad it’s over but I’m glad everything happened the way it did. Now I’m just trying to be less fearful of what’s to come.

a weekend in Italy

a weekend in Italy

Last weekend I went to Italy (Lake Garda, to be more precise) with four friends to spend the weekend together, mostly just chilling and talking and spending time together.

We couldn’t really meet up recently with one abroad for a year and the rest studying (kind of). Also, two years ago we all went to London together and it was amazing and even though this trip was way smaller and shorter, it felt right to do something together again.

I can’t speak for the others, but I certainly had an amazing weekend! From singing German rap and Bastille in the car to taking horrible pictures of each other on a pedalo in the lake it was great and fun and the perfect end to my long break. This week I went back to school and I’m glad I could do this feeling happy, social and satisfied because I’m sure I won’t feel like that too much in school (only time will tell).

We ate loads of pizza and pasta, drank loads of Aperol Spritz and cheap beer (I think I’m liking beer more and more) and probably made our hostel roommates think we’re crazy with our stupid jokes and comments.

I’m getting quite melancholy now so I won’t write as much, this is supposed to be light and happy after all, but I’m just so glad I’m more in contact with these friends and I hope it will continue and we can do more trips or other things together in the future. They sure are great.

If you had a break as well, I hope it was loads of fun, and if you didn’t, I really hope you can rest sometime soon!

See you ❤