pic by emmastudies on tumblr because i’m not that aesthetic

Christmas and New Year came and went and January came and went too and that faster than I imagined they would.

For me January means (or meant?) change. A lot of change. In the weeks leading up to Christmas and after my vacation in January I was working on my presentation for my oral exam, the last ever exam in my apprenticeship. With passing it on the 23rd I finished my apprenticeship, after two and a half years.
Can you imagine?

The time went by so quickly, much quicker than I thought it would go. A few months ago, a year ago, I was thinking “wow, in x months I’ll be finished” and now it’s actually over. I can’t really explain how that makes me feel.
I  will – however long it takes them to send me that stuff – have a certificate that tells me that I know enough in certain areas to work there, and I could do so for the rest of my life. I’m actually qualified to work in a bunch of departments. Say what??

On that Monday, after I passed the exam, it all felt so surreal to me. I couldn’t imagine that it is actually over and that I’m done and that I now only need to go to work to say goodbye and give back my laptop and other things. And then I could leave. For possibly forever. I didn’t even cry or anything like that (and I expected I would because I always cry). I was actually not feeling that well and just wanted to be alone for a while because so many things were going on in my brain. But I said my goodbyes and hugged some people and did what I was supposed to do and left.

And I still felt weird as I went home. And I still felt weird the day after and the next. It took me a while. I like change and I certainly needed change but I think my brain gets easily overloaded with it and needs time for everything to settle down. Now I’m okay though. I still don’t quite know how I will spend all that time until the middle of September when I will go to school (BOS) and get my Abitur (A levels, high school certificate). I will travel a bit, especially in the first few months but I guess I will also have to find other ways to spend my time. I probably will though, I have lots of interests and I would be quite mad with myself if I don’t spend this time well.

Okay, this was the finishing part but I also want to talk about studying.

I think I learnt a lot about myself in the last few months and some of that has to do with studying, motivation and how I prepare for exams.

Ages ago I wrote a blogpost (or several) about how I always lack in motivation when it comes to studying, but even more so for professional school during my apprenticeship. And I noticed over the course of the last year that I got better at it, a lot better, but it’s still not that great.

I noticed how competitive I am when it comes to grades and even though it is sometimes a bit of a shitty quality of mine it does make me push myself a bit and I will actually try to understand something.

I also saw that if I write topics together at work and study there, well, I actually do it. I don’t just plan on doing it but I have or find the time and do it. That also worked so well because I had a nice and fast printer and the newest Word edition. Let’s see how that continues at home…

But really, as soon as I started to study more at work whenever I had the time I studied quite a bit and had good grades. Oh my god who would have thought?!

When it was time to study for my written exams in November I just continued to do that and started doing past exam papers there. It took me a while to get started though so this is still a thing I’m not good at. Damn you, procrastination. And I definitely would have gotten better grades if I had started a bit earlier, especially with my least favourite subject. Ah, well.

So yes, I’m better at studying itself and I think I’m actually pretty good at summarising and making nice notes and that stuff! (At least when it’s not by hand because no one can read my handwriting and sometimes not even myself) What I need to try to be better at is when to start studying. Especially in my worst subject because I always leave it to the last which is exactly what you are NOT suppsed to do.

This was just a “little” rambling post about my thoughts. I am so happy I’m finished and I’m proud at myself for having made it so far. It wasn’t easy sometimes, especially in the first year of my apprenticeship but I learnt so much and grew so much and now I’m here, woo!

See you soon ❤

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