I have returned from London today. I spent the day waiting for my flight, not knowing what to do with my time, almost falling asleep, worrying about what will happen when I come home and I have to face reality again, looking forward to my parents and my room and great food and, well, crying.
For some time now I haven’t felt really good. I guess this is another depressive episode. The thing is, nothing bad happened and I’m actually really happy lately but in the evening I always find something to cry about. I know I’m super sensitive and I cry incredibly easily so this is nothing new to me.
What’s new is that I had someone to take care of me, to hug me, to cuddle me, to make me feel better. That person is my now girlfriend. It still feels so new and kind of weird to say/write that because it’s such a new thing for me and… woah.
Today I’m not with her, for the first time in the last three weeks I’m alone for a few hours. I like being alone and I need time for myself but I also know that I’m not good at staying okay when I’m alone because I so easily fall back into this circle of bad thoughts. I guess right now I’m mostly just worried about the things that are going to happen next week. It’s really overwhelming to think about all the stuff I have to/should take care of soon.
Right now I just want to watch that new Doctor Who episode and then go to bed. I also wish I could do a few more things like sorting my photos and maybe writing a blog post or more about my stay in London but I don’t think I’m going to do anything productive tonight.
I hope your day is okay. And if not, maybe tomorrow will be. I hope my tomorrow is not overshadowed by anxiety and a bad mood.
See you soon ❤