It’s the end of June, we have now made it through half of 2015. Wow. I can’t really believe it. I was so afraid this year would turn out shit. I remember almost crying on New Year’s Day at 2am because I was so scared. It turned out so different than what I had expected.

This year has been … special. Very special. I did so much, I had such great times, such bad times and I wanted to write a little recap of these last six months.


  • I managed to find someone who can drive me to work almost every day
  • The WhatsApp group with my online friends continued to be fucking awesome and they cheered me up so many times. I count all of them to my very close friends.
  • I got obsessed with Out of the Blue
  • Because of OOTB I met two Australians over the internet and I even met one of them! Face to face! Ah! I had a great day with her and the conversations with both of them are always really great
  • I had anxiety attacks at work
  • I made plans for Easter holidays
  • We finally got our shit together and booked our flights and the hostel in London
  • We made a lot of plans for London and I got my hopes up pretty high
  • I had a great fandom evening with the girls that will travel to London with me!
  • I got a feedback from Accounting I didn’t like
  • I met a friend I know from my forum for the second time
  • I enjoyed the time in the Inside Sales partially but I got a pretty great feedback
  • I noticed with of the other apprentices I really like. I get along with some of them really well.
  • English lessons are always great and make my Tuesdays so much better
  • The people in the Inside Sales were really nice to me
  • I spend a whole week with my very close friend Nadja. I felt so great, I relaxed, I felt at home with her, I enjoyed the time a lot.
  • Together we went with a friend of us both to HobbitCon. We all had such a great time and I probably had the best week of my life. Everything was amazing and so interesting. Singing in the choir was fun, the party was great and I was very happy.
  • I travelled home from Nadja which meant crying for hours for me and feeling miserable the whole time because saying goodbye was awful and I had problems with the trains. An incredibly shit day.
  • I started working in Purchasing. I liked it a lot there, more and more over the time, and I could work almost entirely on my own. The colleagues there were really nice. I enjoyed the work there a lot.
  • But my social anxiety got worse and I really had problems calling people or just talking to them. I was forced to do this stuff in the end and maybe it helped but it made me very exhausted and wasn’t easy at all.
  • I went to a Pentatonix concert with my best friend and it was pretty awesome
  • I started theory driving lessons. My best friend started with me which was great because finally we could see each other more often.
  • I started learning Swedish online. I do some exercises every day and I really enjoy it. I love to learn this language and I think I’m quite good at it. I’m proud of myself 🙂
  • My cat died. I cried so much in this week and afterwards and it made me feel very very shit.
  • I got very excited for Eurovision. This year I was more involved with anything concerning Eurovision than the last few years. I got very active on tumblr and on this blog and Twitter, I knew everything. I enjoyed Eurovision so much this year and it made me happy a lot. I spend so much time on it and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
  • I slightly fell in love with Mans Zelmerlöw but that’s okay because of him I got even more excited about Eurovision and learning Swedish and found many more ways to improve my skills. Also, he made me want to travel to Sweden even more than before.
  • I made new friends I guess? Through HobbitCon I met three or four people I talked to for a while or still talk to. And I met someone through Twitter. And through my best friend I was introduced to some people I’d like to count to my friends at some point.
  • I realised I’m probably bisexual.
  • I went swimming, shopping and had some nice days in June
  • I continue to miss my cat a lot and I cry or almost cry so often when I think about him.
  • I changed departments. Now I’m in Accounting (again, but a different part). I was very anxious about the people there but it’s actually pretty okay, some of the colleagues I have there are very nice. Not sure how good, but okay. I went for lunch with another apprentice pretty often and I like her and we get along quite well.
  • My mental health got a lot worse very suddenly. There was this one thing that upset me and afterwards I felt really shit and it didn’t stop. And I also realised that I’ve been feeling pretty bad for a while now. I have many symptoms that say I’ve got depressions.
  • Holy shit, for me it was so hard to admit that to myself. But I know it and I have to do something against it. I don’t really know how though.

This is the good stuff and the bad stuff. The small and the big. It’s pretty mixed up. That’s good right? Even though shit stuff happened there were also a lot of great moments.

I hope it continues.

And maybe I can wipe out the bad stuff soon.

This is to remind me of the good stuff. Even though there has been so much shit going on I had so great times and I need to remember that.


How has your year been so far?

See you soon ❤

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