What happens after Eurovision?

That’s the big question for the fans, right? At least for me it is. And for me, not much is that different from before the shows, but with different emotions. (I still watch all the videos and go through tumblr every day…)

Saturday/Sunday night I spent such a long time on the internet, until 4am. I normally really don’t do that, I always try to sleep enough and to have a proper sleeping schedule but during that night I just didn’t care. I was so awake and the evening was so fun and I just wanted to continue with that forever.

I went on Twitter and tumblr, scrolled through the tags, talked to my friends on WhatsApp about it, watched the videos right after they were uploaded, watched the Winner’s Press Conference live and so on.

I had a great night, but then I went to bed, slept a bit, woke up and everything felt different.

Sunday was not such a good day for me. I drove to relatives with my parents and because I don’t see them often I wanted to go even though I could have said I want to stay home. The day wasn’t so nice because some of my relatives really got on my nerves, because there were 8 children under 10 and I’m not a big fan of annoying children and we had to tell basically 10 times that my cat had died which almost made me cry all the time.

But the worst thing was the Post Eurovision Depression. I was also tired and I texted with my friends who also are big Eurovision friends. We have this great WhatsApp group called “ESC Royals” and we are always talking about the ESC artists and the shows and our feelings about all that. On Sunday the mood was pretty bad.

My favourite won, but not theirs. One of my friends really wanted Loic to win, another one Il Volo. The stupid thing is, Il Volo would have won without the jury votes so she was even sader. I would have been happy with both of those winners but I’m even happier with Mans’ winning. Of course. But how could I be happy when they aren’t at all? But also… Eurovision is over now… For a whole year. I spend so much time and energy and emotions on it. I was so happy during the last weeks when I could inform myself about everything that happened, when I could be on tumblr and Twitter and YouTube and find all this new stuff. I laughed at the tumblr memes, I found my Eurovision crush with my friends, I liveblogged the hell out of the shows, I was happy.

And now that’s over. I really don’t like that. I need something to look forward to, I need something that keeps me happy and makes me smile so much. I love Eurovision because it’s so fun but now it’s again over. I hate moving on from happy things and know I have to do it again. I only could move on from HobbitCon because of Eurovision, and now? I should take care of our vacation to London in August, but that scares me more than it makes me happy right now.

So on Sunday these emotions came together with my friends being sad and unhappy, with me not really being able to celebrate Mans’ win or the actually good places my favourites got and the shit people said to me.

My cousin and my aunt talked to me a little bit about Eurovision but they knew nothing… they thought they did but they didn’t and it annoyed me so much because they wanted to tell me something about a thing I definitely know more about. Then a friend of a friend told me that Eurovision is shit and that Heroes completely sounds like Lovers on the sun and I just told him to shut the fuck up.

I’m sick of people telling me either that Eurovision is shit/not important or telling me that Mans’ shouldn’t have won/is a homophobe/his song is a copy/whatever.

I’m so sick of it.

That friend who told me Eurovision is shit just has no idea how cool it can be, how much I love it, how happy it can make me and how important it is to me. There are way too many people in the world who do not understand that and it makes me so sad…

Anyway.

I’m really happy for Mans, he was and is my favourite and I just really like him and love his song. So I’m happy, okay? So why don’t people let me be happy? I can understand that my friends wanted other people to win but it always feels like I can’t be happy when they aren’t… I know they don’t mean that but it still felt like that on Sunday and sometimes now too.

But what I hate so much is what people say about Mans now. Stuff that was said on the internet months ago but now that he is famous it comes back. And I feel really sad for him because he has to live through all that again and again but he doesn’t deserve that. Again people are thinking he’s a homophobe even if these things were put aside such a long time ago. That gets less and less though – at least it seems like that, and that is good. People see his effort and recognise that.

But again people say his song sounds exactly like Lovers on the sun and is 100% stolen etc. Sorry, but if it were like that then he would have been sued for god’s sake. But he wasn’t. So shut up and let him enjoy his win. This morning when I drove to work they said on the radio “exlusive on Bayern 3, here you hear it first: Heroes sounds exactly like David Guetta”, woah, will you be quiet? You are not the first one’s to say that and just because people in Germany know now too who he is you don’t have to dig all this stuff up. I’m so upset about that.

And the whole thing with the jury votes… So, Il Volo would have won if the votes would only be televotes, not combined with jury votes. I’m very annoyed by the jury votes because of that and because I just generally don’t think they should exist, but now I’m so sorry for both Il Volo and Mans.

Il Volo must think that they would deserve the win but they still didn’t win and only cam third. And Mans must think that he doesn’t even deserve the win because so many people wanted someone else to win. That’s the German national final with Ann Sophie and Andres Kümmert all over again… And I hate it.

All these reasons are why I’m not so happy right now and why Eurovision can be amazing but also not. If I felt less about it and weren’t so attached to this whole thing it woulnd’t make me so emotional but here I am…

It feels really good to write all this down though. Maybe that helps.

Thanks for reading if you still do 🙂


What are you feeling now that Eurovision is over for another year?

See you soon ❤

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