If you could only save me

I’m drowning in the waters of my soul

There’s nothing left to say now

I’m giving up, giving up, giving up now

by Imagine Dragons – Nothing left to say (x)

Oh what a surprise, another Imagine Dragons quote.

But this one is different. It’s not a happy one. More like a sad one, but one that speaks to me too.

Sometimes I really have a bad day and worry about everything, think about little things and get worked up on them because I can’t stop making myself feel bad. These are the days when I’m drowning in the waters of my soul. Becuase I can’t be happy with myself.

Over the last few months these days have become more and more and that scares the hell out of me. Sometimes it’s not even a whole day, everything is all right until some tiny little thing happens that makes me feel like shit suddenly for the rest of the day.

I hate that, but I can’t change it. Which scares me too.

Sometimes I really feel like giving up, lying in bed for the whole day, not going to work or school and giving no fucks about everything around me. But I can’t do that. I have to stand up and get my shit done or at least attempt to do so. Maybe that’s good. But then I also think I could need a time out. A week where I can just relax and become clear with myself, not caring about anything else.

I just don’t know how to do that.

I’m actually scared that this whole week could become a shit week because there are many things I’m unsure about or even scared of. I hope my pessimism is unfounded.

Anyway, see you soon ❤

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